So I’m sitting here drinking my typical grape kombucha after a hectic day of coordinating video shoots and content with Abra. We’re overwhelmed, but sitting here and writing this post has been something I’ve wanted to do for a while so it’s putting me in a wonderful mood.
Lately when I’ve gone onto social media — Instagram in particular — I’ve found myself consumed with this obsession with being healthy, living healthy and eating all things healthy. What do I mean? Well, from the bowls of avocados, and pasture raised eggs to the beautiful and inspirational yoga poses; I find myself wanting to emulate this picture perfect vision of health, not just for all of you but for myself as well. It’s easy to feel like you aren’t doing a good enough job when it comes to your health. Am I right?
And in 2017, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. There’s endless information, ways to access it, people who tell you what to eat or how to eat, when to eat and how to live your best life.
First of all, let’s take a step back and recognize that health is different for everyone and anyone. Being healthy to some means eating paleo, for gym junkies it all begins and ends in the gym, and for others emotional and mental health brings all the clarity one needs. Rarely will you find someone who has all three down to a perfect science.
It’s difficult not to feel worthy enough when you see your favorite blogger exercising and you haven’t drank your morning cup of joe. Or when you see someone post the most beautiful buddha bowl you’ve ever seen full of six different veggies, and then realize you’ve only had brown food all day. And while often all of these pictures and posts can be inspiring to eat better or to get to the gym, I want you to know that you have permission to live your own life, to be inspired but not overwhelmed — because I fear that the overwhelming feeling with not ‘being healthy enough’ leads to eating disorders and dysfunctional relationship with your beautiful soul and body.
Sometimes I feel like others hold me to a high standard when it comes to eating and exercising, but the truth is I’m just living my life (like you!), seeking an everyday balance that makes me feel good on both the inside and out. Trying my best to fit in veggies (admittedly I love them, but don’t eat quite enough), enjoying peanut butter by the spoonful, eating pizza and burgers every so often (cause they’re so good). What I’ve learned through blogging, finding my own unique perspective in the blogging world is that I’m not like anyone else, nor do I strive to be.
And when it comes to your own personal health and wellness, I want you to know that social media is not the idealist or the expectation. What does this mean? It means that social media cannot define what your health looks like or feels like to you personally. Take all the healthy tips and inspiration when you want them, but understand that you create your own personal wellness. Everyone needs something different.
How to find what kind of healthy is right for you:
FEEL INSPIRED. What makes you feel inspired? I’m taking let your soul on fire kind of inspired. Ask yourself this. Write a list of things you LOVE and that makes you feel like a genuinely better human being. Talk a walk. Listen to music and jam out. FEEL GOOD.
CREATE YOUR OWN DEFINITION OF A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE. Take my little wellness exercise below. Find something that feels good for you on your own terms. Commit to exercising, eating healthy and taking care of your mind, but do it on your own terms. Find an exercise that you don’t dread doing, meals that taste delicious and are nourishing for your lifestyle, and always strive to keep your mind active and engaged.
KNOW YOUR FEELINGS. The better you understand how you feel and which emotions you are experiencing, the more we can treat ourselves better. More people have trouble with this than you think.
IDENTIFY YOUR PASSIONS. Do you want to start a blog? Do you want to be a nutritionist? Do you want to help other people in medicine? Do you like talking to people and giving advice? Then what’s stopping you? There’s always going to be an excuse for you to stop living your best life. If you can’t identify what you want, ask people what three qualities they think of when they hear your name. How can you build off those qualities? Take a new class? Try out a new hobby?
ALWAYS BE YOURSELF. THIS IS EVERYTHING. Be yourself! No one is like you in the entire world so just be who you are and strive to be better than you were yesterday (that’s how you grow!).
Now, here’s a little wellness exercise for you:
1.) Sit quietly and connect with yourself. Write down all the things in your weekly routine that genuinely make you feel like a better person and/or in general, happy. It can be anything: taking a bath, reading a book, going to a workout class, meeting up with friends, etc.
2.) Look at what you’ve written and identify the two or three things that you enjoyed doing the most. Write down how you felt before and after doing those three things. Were you relaxed? Energized? Relieved? Try to be specific.
What you’ve written is usually a good indicator of the wellness you need in your life. So for example, if you wrote down that you enjoyed going out with your girlfriends for dinner and meeting up with your mom for a walk, you can identify that being social and spending time with others is what your soul is craving (and in general what makes you happy!).
It’s a simple task, but one that I find really effective in identifying what I’m needing for my own personal wellness (outside of social media influences). It varies each week, so try and do this 1x per week to see what you need.
Last week taking a coconut oil and salt bath and doing yoga was something that felt completely nourishing to me (as if I missed it so much). To me, this meant that I really needed some time to myself, for myself, by myself.
The week before that, I really really loved roasting veggies and meal prepping. It felt like such an accomplishment. Meaning that I knew I needed a little bit of nourishing food in my life (and that I needed to make a point to meal prep more often!).
Hopefully you find this exercise interesting and something different. If you have any other ways you identify what kind of wellness you’re needing in your life, let me know!
I hope you loved this little dose of inspiration — as always, I’d love to hear from you. Tell me everything you’re feeling below and any questions you’re dying to ask. I’m here!
Wishing you health & happiness, always. xo!
I love how you do this wellness exercise once a week! When I was reading that it was like a light bulb moment, because I think we can all be in different places each week with how we’re feeling. Taking a step back each week takes the pressure off. Great, great post!
This was beautiful. This is what I believe to be true. People need to be loved for who they are and then you can help them to be what they want to be for healthy. Some jump head first no fear kind of thing others wade causally with the baby steps. Be patient and always send ❤️
Amen.
The wellness exercise you suggested was very simple, but helpful. Thank you! I probably need to practice this more often.
I needed to hear this. So true that everybody is different and everyone’s health goals are different. I like to think that all of the ‘perfect’ instagram pictures are only the highlights of people’s health. I would hate to only eat buddha bowls and kale for the rest of my life. Just not part of my health goals:)
LOVE DIS. DQ for life.
Yes! To compare is to despair- especially when it comes to health! I will have to try that exercise. I think the beauty of health is that it is always evolving as we go through the stages of our lives. What may be healthy for me one week may not feel so good a few weeks later. Great post as usual 🙂
Thanks for writing this! Definitely accurate and difficult. It’s difficult to not be ‘so influenced’ by what you see / follow/ like.
Thanks for this! Inspiring and true.
Follow me @hollywoodpoops- trying my own little take on creating a profile I’m passionate about!
Hi, Monique–I came across your blog a few weeks ago and first made the oat banana protein muffins, which turned out really nicely and were so easy! I’ll make a new batch this weekend. I also immediately felt a strong connection to most of the things you wrote on your wellness journey in your “About Section” related to eating “rules” and things being okay–mainly, to relax more about food and fitness and wellness. I have been working hard to make strides in this area and the pizza once a week thing is something I am working on being comfortable with. I mean, cheese and bread and pepperoni are all very good things! 🙂 It makes a difference, to an extent, to have a supportive significant other–I say to an extent because generally the men in our lives probably don’t understand what it is like to try to be healthy and balanced with all the standards, ideas, diets, fads, etc. that we are constantly bombarded with. Even though we know better, and although our minds have that ability to recognize we don’t necessarily need to, or want to be that way, I think there’s some level of considering: “Maybe I should try harder…maybe I should eat more or less of this….maybe it would work if I did this…” It gets to a point where it becomes a deliberate choice to say “NO”. The best way for me to live my best life is to try things out, also sticking with basic things we know to be true like a generally healthy diet, exercise, sleep, water, good social interactions, and eventually base our lifestyle habits not on anything else but what works for us as individuals, what’s sustainable, what helps us function optimally, what fosters our relationships and sense of self. I’m even verbalizing things that I didn’t used to, like “I love cake” and “I enjoy baking”, and that doesn’t mean I’m not a very wellness-oriented person to like and eat sugar. Because in addition to liking a lot of “junk” foods and eating them when they sound good, I also happen to love exercise of all kinds, fruits and vegetables, and order a ton of salads when I go out to eat. I drink water like a fish and I avoid smoking, drugs, and alcohol. I acknowledge that bread is delicious, as you said, and I am realizing that making some “unhealthy” food choices is actually a healthy choice for me because it contributes to me being balanced and moderate with respect to how I look and feel. The more I focus on objective measures like numbers (scale…), the more miserable and guilty I get–but it goes away just as fast when I fix my eyes and mind on what I have–job, family, husband, dog, wonderful home. I want to be a good role model not because I want people to think well of me or to a higher standard, but because I was created the way I was for a reason and I think part of it is to ACTUALLY, purposefully, let go of pretending to be perfect and not just SAY I don’t want to be!
Ahhh I really loved this! I totally resonate with feeling inadequate when I look at other people’s instagrams/ blogs and start comparing myself to them. I think a major thing that I find that bothers me is that so many “health” food bloggers who claim to have found a balance with health/ wellness/ eating still use words like “cheat day” implying that food is like morally good/ bad and still make recipes that they label as “skinny.” I understand a “healthier” version of a recipe, but I just hate the terminology because the word skinny has such a specific connotation. Just my two cents 🙂
I am loving everything about this post. I am constantly looking for balance in my life and can, like you, get completely consumed by social media influences. Last year I went through a major Instagram detox when I realized that I was allowing myself to make decisions based on expectations set by what I saw. It was the best thing for me. Taking care of ourselves should be a kind a loving process based on calm. Thanks for this reminder today!
Lindsay, I have also been on an Instagram and Pinterest detox because I realized all I had were workouts and I would feel inadequate when I didn’t do all of the ones I planned. It wasn’t good for me to base the “goodness” or “badness” of my day on whether or not I did 45 minutes of HIIT.
I completely agree Kristina. I was punishing myself in the same way for months and just made the choice to detox. It was a really smart change for me to make 🙂
This is such an inspiring article, Monique! Love the way you describe wellness as a personal journey and that everyone has to find his own one. And yes, we definitely need to take a step back from social media, from time to time. It makes us realize that we are our own beautiful and the only protagonist of our own life, and that’s why we need to take care of ourselves. I will take a moment today and do your little exercise, it sounds about right to me at the moment. Thanks again for sharing this with us, you are definitely very inspiring to me! Cheers from another passionate food blogger from Chicago 🙂
So true! Healthy differs from person to person. Right now, it means sleeping in, reading a lot and going on long walks as much as I can. Will my definition of healthy be the same in a few months? Probably not – and that’s OK!
I absolutely 100% enjoyed this post! I definitely agree that the inspiration to be healthy can go overboard quickly! We all need to be on our own health and wellness journeys, unique to each of us! Thanks for this post! I loved the worksheet too!! ❤️
You are the best – needed this today. So inspiring, friend!
As I have gotten older, I have realized that life is too short to worry about what others think of me. Of course, I always think that someone is skinnier, healthier, prettier, etc. But then I realize that I need to just focus on me and my mental health.
The health and fitness industry is SOOOOO overwhelming.
Thanks for the inspiration to continue on my wellness journey! Your wellness exercise made me realize that my focus on down-time and R&R isn’t selfish…it’s what my body and mind are craving. 🙂 I really love these articles and I hope they continue.
Thank you so much for your words in this post. I honestly can relate to everything you said in so many ways and it’s great to hear your encouraging thoughts.
So many good points Monique! Not being overwhelmed by what others are doing has been key for me this year. Focusing on my own journey (in both work and wellness) is what is moving me forward each day. Loved this! <3
Great post! This morning I planned to work out before work. But it didn’t happen, I took the extra hour for sleep. Sometimes my weeks don’t go as planned, but thats okay! Accepting that is important for me!
Love the idea of writing down what you love to figure out what your soul needs each week!
This post came at an excellent time. Just this morning, I was feeling overwhelmed with my instagram feed and all of the fitness/health accounts I follow. I follow these accounts for inspiration, but sometimes, I find I’m comparing myself to these accounts and that spirals into bad thoughts and self doubt. Appreciate you taking the time to touch upon this topic and for being real and transparent. The wellness exercise is an excellent idea and I will definitely give it a try! Thanks!
This is so so true. I’ve found that consistent yoga practice, taking some quiet time (aka not listening to all the things while I do all the things), and taking care with what a eat make me feel SO much better throughout the week. I love these posts! xo
This post has meaning for everyone no matter what we do for a living, where we live and what we want to accomplish. You are so correct…each of us has to find the perfect “LBD” for ourselves in everything we do. Our favorite work is contentment over happiness.-Laurel Bledsoe
Thank you so much for this post Monique. I definitely find myself getting overwhelmed with living a healthy lifestyle sometimes. There really is so much out there and it’s hard not to get sucked into so many different things. Balance is so important! I can’t thank you enough for everything you share on this blog!