Getting ready for a run yesterday evening
Hi! It’s been some time since we’ve had a heart to heart. Life’s been crazy lately and I’m so sorry I haven’t been able to keep up with Wellness Wednesdays as often as I’d like. Truth be told, sometimes it’s hard for me to come up with topics or ideas that I think will appeal to you. Often times, I forget that writing from the heart is something I love; something that just comes easy and natural.
Another reason why I haven’t been able to contribute as much is that I’m working on a HUGE wellness project that’s taken up most of my evenings. I can’t wait to tell you more about it soon! In the meantime I wanted to just have a simple, honest check-in with you about where I am in my own personal wellness.
Me in the hotel gym after a body weight workout
For the past 6 months or so, I’ve had a pretty severe neck and back injury that I’ve mentioned on here a few times before. It started back in late November with some pretty severe chest, back and arm pain. Literally it was the most random thing that’s ever happened to me because I can’t remember doing anything that would have caused it. I went to the emergency room twice within the span of a week. To be honest, I was really freaked out because I’ve never experienced pain like that before. To say that I had anxiety about it would be an understatement; I saw 3 different doctors who all gave me a different diagnosis. None of them solved my problem or helped my pain any. Instead they just prescribed various pills which only seemed to put me into a coma for a good day. Literally I cannot function on muscle relaxers.
I then took matters into my own hands trying some natural solutions like warm sea salt baths, muscle rubs, massages, the chiropractor and currently acupuncture. Nothing seems to relieve the pain long term. Due to the pain and me not pinpointing what was happening, I decided to take a month off of working out back in December.
Okay… I’ll admit I did a few Jillian Michael’s DVD workouts but nothing crazy. At first, the not working out part really freaked me out. I remember thinking, how do I even do that? I mean I’ve been exercising nearly every day for years; it was such a part of my daily routine and most certainly a stress reliever. But I absolutely had to understand that my health was immensely important. Without it, what did I have?
So I went through the holidays without heart-pumping cardio or lifting. I ate cinnamon rolls but felt guilty because I couldn’t negate the calories. All I wanted to do was move my body a little. You know, just sweat and get those endorphins that I craved. Thankfully I was able to spend a lot of time with family and friends which kept me busy. No more exercise meant I had more free time on my hands.
It was during this time though that I realized I had to stop beating myself up over the little things. That this was only ONE MONTH IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. 30 days, that’s it. Not exercising wasn’t that big of a deal. It didn’t have to control me.
At the end of December, I finally got a stress echo test on my heart to rule out any heart problems related to the chest pain. I was incredibly scared that something was going to be wrong, but when everything came back clear, I was relieved and so very thankful. I mean honestly when you have a scare like that, it kinda puts things in perspective for you.
After my heart was given a thumbs up and once my back started feeling a little better, I got into exercising again. And it was like I had never stopped. Sure, it was hard both physically and mentally, but I knew I could do it. The funny thing was that I didn’t gain a single pound during the month I took off. I’m sure I probably lost some muscle but could anyone really tell other than me? No, of course not! The entire month, I ate what I wanted within moderation too. It was the holiday season after all and I had my fair share of sweet treats.
I guess it was surprising that I hadn’t gain weight during my time off. For some reason I had thought that exercise was this huge part of the health equation for me; that I needed to do it nearly every single day in order to be fit and healthy.
Most of all I felt like I had been mentally punishing myself for not being able to work out, even though I knew I was trying to heal my body.
A nice 3 mile walk in Chicago last week.
The time off provided me with the realization that exercising isn’t everything. That your overall physical and mental health both factor into you being a healthy human being.
Exercise shouldn’t define your day nor should you simply exercise for only one reason in particular. Now that I’ve found that I enjoy exercise for various reasons, it makes it less of a task. I don’t feel the need to compete with myself to burn the most amount of calories, run the furthest distance or at the quickest pace. Sure, I have days where there are goals to push faster, harder, longer but not every day needs to be that way. Previously I had been exercising for an hour+ on most days of the week.
These days, my exercise has become limited again. About a month or so ago, I started experiencing strong and very intense neck and back pain that would last for days at a time along with a slight hand tremor that was aggravated after exercise. Again nothing worked to alleviate it so I made it my mission to find a doctor who could help me figure out what was going on. My x-rays showed a loss of neck curvature but there may be something more thus I’ll be getting an MRI soon.
Due to all of this, I’ve had to quit my beloved yoga. Yoga has been something that has changed my life (I even wrote a post about it). It was really sad for me to give it up but the poses were putting too much pressure on my back and neck which only seemed to aggravate the pain. Hopefully it’s only temporary.
In the meantime, I’ve started cycling along the lakeshore paths in Chicago and also running because surprisingly it doesn’t hurt my neck. The lake is beautiful and I’m thankful I’m able to move my body in some way. I’m only exercising every other day and taking into account how I feel too. Sometimes I take a few days off and I’m completely okay with it; often times a nice 3 mile walk to the grocery store and back is as good as it gets. Or I’ll try and do simple and quick bbodyweightworkouts that I find on Pinterest. And again, that’s okay because I’m not striving for perfection, I’m striving for health in all areas of my life.
In all of this though, I began to realize that I exercise for so many more reasons than just to be fit. I exercise to give myself confidence, to build mental strength, to think, to feel strong and to get a little bit of those running endorphin. The benefits ultimately go way beyond how I look.
Ultimately, I wanted to share this with you because I feel like there’s a lot of pressure to do intense exercise all the time. Above all I think it’s important to have health in all aspects of your life. Don’t run yourself into the ground just because you want to look a certain way; in the end your only punishing yourself and your body.
Exercise should be something you enjoy because it challenges you both mentally and physically. If you find yourself bogged down by exercise, try taking a few days off, take into account how you feel and write about it. What makes exercise fun for you? What don’t you like about it? Reflect on what you’ve written and think about how you might change up your routine. Perhaps you need to try a yoga class more often, head to the gym with a friend or simply take a day or two to focus on your inner self. Sometimes a little time off is just what the body needs.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on the following:
1. How frequently do you work out?
2. Do you give yourself permission to take a break every once in a awhile?
3. Have you ever had an exercise-related injury?
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Hi Monique, Thanks for the inspiration just love your vibe and thanks for sharing your wellness story it’s powerful and feels like you haven’t avoided anything more integrated and transformed your challenges…….that’s empowerment.
I’ve been sitting still for 3 months through covid and a broken ankle so inspiration has been needed lol.
Hi Alyce! Absolutely – thank you for reading. Thinking of you and hope your ankle heals soon!
I love your honesty in this post. I read it a couple days ago but didn’t have a chance to comment myself so here I am!
I’m the exact same way you are in that if I don’t exercise for a day or even a few days, I start to FREAK OUT and I’m like omggg I’m so fat, I’m already gaining weight, etc. I like that injury opened your eyes to other creative ways to workout and it also helped you understand that it’s totally not as bad as we might make it seem. Obviously I wish you weren’t injured and that you weren’t in pain, but sometimes life lessons come at us hard and are a blessing in disguise. When I was injured for my shoulder/neck, I couldn’t go to barre cause the weight part of class and then pulling off the barre during some movements were just too straining. I was like omg what am I going to do?! I eventually ended up recovering after about a couple months and it really helped me explore different options to exercise.
I hope you find out more about your injury and I hope you aren’t in too much pain soon. So sorry you have to go through that but I’m happy that you can see the happiness in all this 🙂 if that makes sense! Good luck, girl! xoxo
I try to workout 3-4 times a week, sometimes more, sometimes less. I definitely give myself permission to take breaks, however, I struggle a bit. Sometimes I cannot tell if I am being lazy, or if I really do need the break. I think it is hard because you try to push yourself and get motivated, so the times you aren’t feeling up to it, it is hard to determine what to do and I usually end up feeling guilty if I choose to take the day or so off.
I haven’t really had an exercise-related injury in a while… but within the past year I have been having a lot of lower back pain which eventually spread up my spine. I used to be a gymnast/cheerleader and have always been super flexible. Up until last year I was able to still do a lot, and stretched almost everyday to keep my flexibility up. I’ve seen my doctor and got an X-ray and MRI but they do not see anything that would be causing it. I adjusted my workouts and took a week or so off but it didn’t seem to make a difference. Now I actually think the working out helps it, as sitting or laying down makes it hurt more. I just told myself if any of my workouts disturb it, I will stop or modify… but I am still annoyed I can’t figure out what is going on!
I recently broke my pinkie toe, which is actually quite debilitating to the point it is humbling. This is coming from the person who loves to run and exercise! It’s easy to exercise to the point where it becomes part of our personality. We tie it to something we are, but exercise something we DO. I know when I get injured, I think a higher power is telling me to slow down and focus building myself up as a person. Thank you for being open and sharing your story.
This really spoke to me and I had to comment.
I ran a 10K on Sunday and ran my best-ever time. I hit a PB that I thought was still months away. I was deliriously happy.
Monday I took a rest day. I was sore, I was exhausted (straight after the run we’d rushed to a christening and on the Saturday I’d been out at a party during the day and then sang in a concert in the evening, so it was a busy one!) and Monday is usually my rest day so it wasn’t a big deal.
But when I went to bed Monday night I was still exhausted, and gave myself permission to set my alarm an hour later and miss my intended run. I was plagued with guilt, especially as I’d planned to do intense intervals and start training for my next half marathon, and especially when I saw a runner in a tshirt from my race running that evening.
Wednesday I decided to do a pilates workout. 20 minutes in I had to stop I was so exhausted.
Today I managed a gentle two miles, but it felt like 10.
And the whole time I’ve felt guilty. Felt like I should be doing more. Felt that I shouldn’t have given myself those rest days, even though I know I needed them.
I think sometimes we take our bodies for granted. We love them when they work harder than we expected, but berate them when they need time to recover.
But this morning was also a wake up call. Like you, I had that reality check that while exercise is a huge part of my life, it isn’t my whole life. The half marathon plan I was looking to follow had intense runs two days a week of up to 8 miles. I exercise before work, so I started to realise how early I would need to be up. And at first I was okay with that, but when my alarm went off at 6am for my short run, I was exhausted. How would I have felt an hour earlier, knowing I had 8 miles to run?
I’ve decided to take some of the elements of this training plan and integrate it with one that involves less mileage and fewer intense runs. Because I know my mental health is more important. The time I spend with my partner is more important. My job is more important and my sleep is more important!
Thank you for posting it for those of us who also suffer exercise guilt. It’s so good to know I’m not alone!
Hi Monique, sorry to hear you’ve had a hard time. Injuries are the worst when you want to stay active. This is a bit beside the point, but since you brought up the lack of weight gain during your month off, I wanted to point out that exercise actually makes a relatively small dent in overall caloric expenditure — so the concept of exercising to negate goodies (like a cinnamon roll) doesn’t entirely hold. Diet is a much more important component in maintaining weight. Just to get started, see Lifehacker’s article, which provide a good intro to the subject: http://goo.gl/p1eth4.
Of course, as you say there are tons of other great reasons to exercise besides weight maintenance, but I think it’s really helpful for people who get sidelined for various reasons (like injuries) to keep this in mind. Best wishes for your recovery, hope you find something that works!
First of all. I love this blog for many reasons. One of them being that I feel like women can obsess over exercise and make it all about image instead of the need to be healthy and live a balanced lifestyle. There is nothing wrong with taking a break!
1) I usually try to work out about 5-6 times a week. I try to mix it up between cardio one day and light weights with higher reps the next (I admit I prefer cardio because I’m currently out of shape and I think it’s important to get my cardio back to speed first)
2) I always make sure to take a break whenever needed! I work a job where I sit for usually 12 hours and can work for weeks straight. So I will take a week off here and there and often I spend the first few days sleeping in.
3) yes. A few! The worst was probably tearing my meniscus is my knee during a basketball practice. At first my doctor thought I just sprained a ligament so I was just supposed to rest for two weeks then start getting back into practice slowly. So basically after two weeks I was running because I was impatient, even though I still couldn’t fully bend or straighten my leg and my knee kept giving out randomly and I would fall to the floor. So I saw a surgeon after a month since the injury and he bent my knee and he immediately said I needed surgery and I went for it the next day (super lucky). And lucky it’s not a big deal surgery. I learned a lot during the recovery. I was so eager to get back to playing basketball so I could play in the playoffs that I admit that I didn’t follow my physiotherapy like I should have. I still did it but not to the best of my ability. I didn’t rest enough either. I pushed myself too quickly and sometimes my knee still bothers me to this day. Rest is super important, and there are still ways to be active while not making an injury worse or delaying the healing process. That being said both my surgeon and physiotherapist were awesome people and gave me all the proper tools and advice to get back to being my normal athletic self. I hope you get better sooner than later! all the best!
You may want to be checked for Thoracic Outlet Syndrome. Very common in athletes. There is a specialist at MGH in Boston. Dean Donahue. He is a thoracic surgeon but does everything in his power to avoid surgery. He is the best in the world. I’ve been where you are with very similar symptoms. Good Luck
Putting in another plug for PT! I’m a PT and I can’t tell you how many patients I see who are referred with a super vague diagnosis from their doctor, but after a more thorough examination, I have it narrowed down to what’s causing the pain so we can effectively treat it. I hope it helps for you if you give it a try!
Also, being pregnant I’ve been thinking a lot about why I exercise, since obviously looking good is not a huge priority on my list anymore. These days I exercise with very light running, prenatal yoga, spinning (on days when I feel like I can push myself), and barre classes to feel good about myself, to do something good for my body, and to strengthen and prepare my body for birth. This is so different than what I did a year ago (long distance running, yoga sculpt, exercising 1+ hour a day) but I know it’s what my body needs right now, even though some days I crave high intensity exercise. I loved reading this post and could definitely relate!
I work out about 5-6 times a week but the length of time and intensity greatly varies. One day HIIT, one day Pilates, one day dance, one day weight lifting.
I definitely give myself permission to take a break, especially if I feel super tired and that if I don’t exercise, I can actually get some much needed sleep. I still feel slightly guilty when I skip though.
I have had exercise related injuries but most were very very minor and would pass within one day after icing and low activity. However, I once had this weird pain in the ball of my foot every time i stepped on it for a full week so I took an extended exercise vacation. Turns out that when I was doing exercises such as push-ups and planks without shoes on, I was putting pressure on that part of my foot
I was a competitive long distance runner often pushing myself to go 13+ miles a day. Even on an easy day I would not allow my body to do anything less than 8 miles or I felt like a failure. Running was my life. It was the only thing I really looked forward to in my day, but along with that came stress if I was unable to run and physical stress to my body if I did run. Last January the inevitable happened and I suffered a horrible stress injury in my ankle that caused severe pain anytime I ran for longer than one minute. Over the course of 8 months I dealt with X-rays, MRIs, an athletic trainer, several doctors, and many many physical therapists… And after all that time the injury was still as bad as it was on day one. It took such a tole on me mentally, I was so devastated. I just gave up that I would ever run again.
To compensate I threw myself into other activities (yoga, biking, gym, weightlifting). I started thinking more about nutrition and what I was putting into my body (your calorie intake changes quite a bit when you stop running 13 miles a day! Not to mention I was worried about gaining weight).
NOW, fast forward a year and a half later, and I am more balanced and more healthy overall than I ever was as a competitive runner. I have gained strength through weightlifting and include cardio that is easier on my body. I never restrict any foods but I think about what I eat and am aware of my hunger instincts. AND, as of just two months ago, I am back to running 🙂 ONLY twice a week for now, and nothing more than 5 miles, but it feels so good to have this balance and to get to run again!
Anyways, this was a very long and rambling response to your post, but I just wanted to let you know how much I relate to your struggles! Sometimes we have to endure these things that we think will destroy us but really make us healthier (physically AND mentally) in the end.
Good luck, Monique! I wish all the best for your recovery and truly believe you will be able to enjoy yoga again one day!
1. I try to work out 45 minutes every day
2. I only take a break if I really need to, like if I’ve been at a concert and get home late, or if I feel under-the-weather.
3. Not yet…I always stretch before and after my workouts to make sure I don’t tear a muscle.
I love the message behind this post! I can definitely relate to how you feel. When I first started getting into exercise regularly, I kind of got addicted to it and would beat myself up for missing a workout. Then one day I pushed myself too hard in Body Pump and injured my back and it was the most excruciating pain in the world. Now I make sure to give myself a little grace if I can’t find the time to work out every day and I always take it easy if I’m feeling exhausted or not well rested. I feel like those are the times when I’m more susceptible to slacking on proper form so instead I’ll just go for a walk around my neighborhood. Every little bit counts!
Anyways, I hope your back and neck continue to improve and that one day you can hopefully get back into yoga. In the meantime I think you’re really smart to listen to your body!
Like you I usually work out every day… its my therapy. However, when I was pregnant last year, I had to give up running early on, and then eventually everything but gentle yoga by the last month. This changed the way I feel about working out, and reminded me that its what your body can DO, and not what it looks like thats important. Now I’m back to working out most days, but because I now have a sweet baby(!), workouts don’t always happen when I plan them. I try to keep it all in perspective and remember that health is about balance and long term sustainable habits, the odd missed run is OK!!
I try and work out 5 days a week. I put so much stress on myself to exercise and stay fit… I have a serious sweet tooth and tend to indulge (but thank you for all your healthy sweet recipes!) so I feel like I need to exercise to offset all the calories. Over the last year, I found that I need more rest. My body was screaming at me to slow down. I need to cut my workouts down and take more time to stretch. I need to take more rest days. I need to let my body recuperate – otherwise, my workouts will not be as productive!
Thank you for all the healthy recipes and your inspiration!
xo, ellie
With Love From Ellie
1. How frequently do you work out? I used to work out high intensity 5-6 times a week, now it is 3-4 medium to light intensity with injury specific strength training and stretching daily.
2. Do you give yourself permission to take a break every once in a awhile? I never use to until forced lol
3. Have you ever had an exercise-related injury?
I’ve had an ongoing IT band injury that I can’t seem to fix. 6 months in I am in physical therapy 3 times a week, doing yoga, and riding a stationary bike. I MISS RUNNING AND ZUMBA. It has been really hard on me. But I am finding I do have a lot more time with my family.
Such a great post!! I’ve had several injuries and medical issues that have required me to stop exercising for weeks and months (heck pregnancy puts almost all of it to a halt because you can hardly breath) but ultimately it helped me learn to trust myself and my body. Love this post!!
Thanks Liz! xoxo
I totally feel for you! I recently injured my back (deeply impacted rib in thoracic spine and put my L3 out of alignment) I was in pain for about a month and had to give up a lot of my physical yoga practice which as a yoga teacher is not only a difficult thing for me to do as it is kind of necessary for my job!
I usually practice about 6 times a week and walk/ hike on top of that so needless to say I was pretty antsy to get back at it! It has been a slow recovery but I’ve learned to love and care for my body more than ever. It’s the only one we get so we need to be kind to it and treat it right, not constantly push it or beat ourselves up for not getting a work out in! I allow myself to take breaks whenever my body needs! Especially after an injury you notice that you may not be able to the same things you did prior to it – It can be frustrating but don’t rush the process getting back to ‘top’ form; take your time and honour that amazing body!
I would encourage you not to give up your yoga practice but instead seek out a knowledgeable teacher in your area that knows how to deal with injuries of the back and neck! Also do not forget that yoga isn’t just the physical postures – that is only one small part of yoga! Other healing paths of yoga are Pranayama – the breath work which is oh so important and Meditation. These are only 2 other small parts but have proven to me to be extremely beneficial in the healing process of the body and mind!
Lastly (sorry for such a long comment) I would very highly recommend that you also seek out an Osteopathic practioner. This is the only form of therapy that has helped heal my recent injury as well as other past ones ( I have also tried, massage, acupuncture, and chiro with little long term effects). Osteopathy is manual manipulation of the musculoskeletal system including the joints, muscles, spine, and organs. It is a holistic way of bringing the body’s system into balance and harmony and treating root causes instead of just the symptom. Here is a link with more description http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/70381.php Check it out and sending good vibes to heal your back
Completely agree. For a long time I went to Corepower Yoga because I was addicted. Some days it made me feel great, others not as much. That’s a great idea to seek out a teacher who can help. I’m going to check out the link you left too and do some more research. Thanks so much for sharing your story and leaving a comment!
I workout 3 days per week at my neighborhood gym. I’m starting to feel some strain in my right knee. I’ve adjusted my routine to have less impact on my knees, but will make a doctor appointment to better understand what could be causing it, and what I should do to prevent it from getting worse. I have anxiety about the visit. I don’t think it’s anything serious, but my concern is hearing that I won’t be able to do something anymore. And of course, it reminds me of my mortality and the thought of not being in optimal physical health for my children. Great post. I just started following your blog and didn’t realize until this post that you’re also in Chicago! Cheers to health and happiness!
Hey Monique, have you tried Physical Therapy? Often you can go without a script from your doctor if your state has direct access and they are able to take a look at things and see what is causing you so much pain at a tissue specific level. Your insurance will cover usually 12 visits without a doctor prescription if you give them a call they can tell you. Good luck and I hope you feel better soon!
This article came at the perfect time, Monique! About two weeks ago, I pulled something in my leg while running and am experiencing pain in the BACK of my knee (random spot!) The thought of taking time off drives me MAD because I’m so afraid of losing progress. BUT, two weeks later and it still hurts- probably because I am pushing it! But you have inspired me to lay off and take care of myself for a few days. After all, if working out for our health is a top priority, RESTING for our health should also be a priority. I LOVE your Wellness Wednesday posts. “Why I quit the scale” also hit home for me. Thanks 🙂
What a great story! It’s so inspirational about how one obstacle changed your way of thinking!
The thing that you have to remember is everyone’s body is different and everyone’s tolerance is different. I was an athlete all my life and in a matter of months I got paralysis pain in my legs (which ultimately ended my career). This was no ordinary pain like I was used to, it was much different and it was effecting me all the time. Needless to say, I went through the same mental “gut-check” you’re going through now. No one could figure out what it was (and we still don’t know) but it meant I had to stop doing the one constant I had had in my life. It was life changing. All I can say is, you will get through it. You will persevere. You may or may not be able to do things like you’ve once done them before, but if you find a way to control the pain and make it so it doesn’t effect your everyday life, I’d say that’s a win. It’ll be a long (frustrating) road, but you can do it! And you have your blogging family here to help you along the way 🙂
Just read your wellness Wednesday blog. I feel like you were telling my story! I wish I could pick up the phone & have a girlfriend heart to heart w/ you!! I’ve been through a lot myself & refuse to let my orthopedic probs define me or my fitness! If I could make a suggestion… Find a very good orthopaedic surgeon who specializes in SPORTS MEDICINE! I know surgeon sounds scary but they have a huge knowledge base that goes beyond the OR. The next thing I would suggest is a Physical therapist who also specializes in sports medicine & certified in the “makenzie method” of spine therapy. Based on what your MRI shows, they can prob come up with a pretty good plan! But don’t wait for that MRI! Get to a PT ASAP! Trust me…they can work miracles!!! Your healing is around the corner! I could write to you for hours on this subject! Hang in there & have faith. This too will pass. With the rt treatment, you will be back to yoga & all the fitness you love!
Wow, thank you so much Jen! I’ll look into checking out at OS. I think physical therapy will be my next course of treatment; I’ll look into the Makenzie method as well!